Here are three things that probably each deserve their own post, but, lucky for you, it's three for one day! You get them quick and all at once.
1. David's big plans
David told me today: When I grow up I want to race motorcycles over big jumps. I want to be on a motorcycle team. I will wear a helmet and lots of clothes to protect me. Alexis will be on my team. I will have an orange motorcycle, and Alexis will have a pink motorcycle. We will both win together. I will see you at the race and wave to you. Mary can't be on my team. My team is not for babies.
2. Mary's turn
Worrying is part of parenthood. I expected it. And I happen to be very good at it. What I'm not so good at is making decisions...like when to worry. Once I've decided to worry, I can take the ball and run. But I struggle to decide whether to worry about something or not. Like to worry or not about a 15-month-old who has no words yet.
I realized why Mary didn't have her 15-month well-baby appointment. I assumed that, since she didn't have shots due, I accidentally let it slip my mind. But I now know that I "forgot" to take her in because I didn't want some jittery first-year pediatric resident deciding for me. I wanted to hear neither "Don't worry about it yet" or the alternative. I reserved worry-decision rights for myself.
By the time David had a follow-up appointment last month with the developmental pediatrician (who is the greatest doctor ever!!), I had made up my mind. At seventeen months and with (barely) two words, Mary was behind where David had been at that age (and he's still playing catch up). So when the doctor inquired about David's baby sister, he didn't have to say much to convince me that it was time to get Mary evaluated.
Mary had her evaluation at Four Oaks on Tuesday. We were assigned the same case-worker we had with David, and she put together the same team for Mary that David had. It's been so fun to see everyone again. When David entered the program, I was pregnant with Mary. And here she was, a year and a half later, playing with the same teachers in the same classroom. Julie and Fran were so looking forward to having Mary in their playgroup--they were sad to hear we're moving. But happy to at least get to know Toddler Mary a little.
Mary is strong-willed and independent. She's definitely not as compliant as her brother. But her powers of concentration are amazing! During the evaluation there was an especially difficult shape-matching task, and we all watched with amazement and breath held has she successfully and independently matched every shape. We were all blown away! Mary is one smart little girl.
In the past two weeks her vocabulary has finally exploded. She now has about a dozen words she uses regularly and just as many signs. So I doubt the results of the evaluation will show very little, if any, delay in speech. But at the IFSP (like an IEP) meeting, it will be good to chat with the speech therapist anyway...you know, it's always good to have guidelines on when to worry again. Decisions, decisions.
3. Wormer
David has a pet. His pet is a dead worm he found on the driveway a couple of weeks ago. His name is Wormer. (Although, David recently informed me that Wormer is a girl.)
Here is David on the day he discovered Wormer. He is standing over her to protect her from Mary...
...because Mary loves Wormer too...
The next day Wormer was gone, surely picked off by a bird, which isn't sad since he was already dead. David was disappointed about his disappearance, until he realized that Wormer had simply gone to play with his friends, named Wally and Eva.For a week all I heard about was Wormer. How David got Wormer at a pet store and how he was going to live in a cage in our house to keep him nice and warm. (Somehow I doubt a dead worm needs to be kept nice and warm.) How David loves Wormer. And Wormer loves David. Once David started to say that Wormer is his best friend, but I interrupted him. I just couldn't bear to hear my child say that his best friend is a dead worm. A mother can only handle so much. David also worked very hard to build Wormer a fancy house in the backyard.
To my surprise, David did not forget Wormer. He started to become frantic about Wormer's return. He would wander the yard, calling out, "Wormer! Wormer! Come home! I made you a house." In the parking lot at Target, he would yell for Wormer. He became almost heart-broken. The only thing that consoled him was the thought of Wormer frolicking with his friends.
Then one day, we heard a shout of joy from the backyard, "Wormer came home! Wormer came home!" We all rushed outside, and, indeed, there he was (or at least a relative of his)--and this time he was even alive. David and Mary were both thrilled.
David was so happy that he wanted a picture of him and Wormer. And he agreed to smile for the picture...
Soon after Wormer was spotted, David yelled, "Surprise!! Wormer, I built you a house! Come here. Come over here!" David was a little disappointed that Wormer did not come. He was also disappointed that Wormer does not say anything. I suppose David could have picked up Wormer, but it never crossed his mind. He not once even touched Wormer, not even the original dead one. Clearly, this relationship lives primarily in his imagination.
This is the kind of pet I can handle. An imaginary friend. A faithful imaginary worm who received regular phone calls from our hotel room in Chicago. No messes to clean, pet food to buy, vet bills to pay. Yes, this is the kind of pet my kid can have.
Should I feel guilty that the only pet I will allow my son to have is an imaginary dead worm?
