Tired of the same old Idaho adventures? Like whitewater rafting? Rock climbing? Whitewater rafting? Mountain biking? More whitewater rafting? Harvesting potatoes? The masochistic election of ineffective and embarrassing legislators?The next time you're in the mood for a little Idahoan recreating, Mary has a few tips that will take your experience well beyond the typical ho-hum REI-member-type outdoor excursion. So when you've grown bored of those class 5 rapids, and have survived enough class 6 rapids that the thought of them draws a yawn, take Mary's advice for an off-the-scale thrill of a lifetime.
Mary's suggestions for your next Idaho adventure:
- Skip the pretensions of Sun Valley and the much-too-much-like-a-postcard beauty of the Sawtooths and head straight for the authentic: Nampa. The flat, suburban sprawl of affordable tract homes, Home Depot, Target, and way too many Sonic Drive-ins meets sugar beet fields, scrap yards, the Snake River Stampede, and an uphill battle to revive the "downtown." It doesn't get more real than that.
- Be sure to bring along an older brother. But if you forget, an older cousin can fill in just fine. And if you wait long enough, he might even give you a chance to play with the toilet brush too. [Editor's note: It was a brand new toilet brush.]
- Forget the "Leave No Trace" propaganda. Be sure to pee on the kitchen floor and leave the carpet crusty with dried spit-up.
- Instead of mindlessly sitting around a campfire at night, try a 10 pm run to Lowe's for bathroom fixtures and grab bars.
- Pass on the potatoes (once- or twice-baked). Instead, try a pineapple milkshake (when your mom isn't looking) or, even better, eat the Target shopping list.
- Why pay hundreds of dollars at the mountain spa? Unwind in the evening with a warm, relaxing soak in the kitchen sink.
- Spend your mornings leisurely rolling around Grandma's enormous bed, and be sure to turn on the charm with lots of hugs, smiles, giggles, and slobbery kisses. This will definitely be the highlight of your trip!
- Above all, for the maximum fun factor, you need an Aunt Janell. If you don't have one, that's too bad. Everybody needs an Aunt Janell!
- End your adventure on a high note with a total meltdown on a Canadian Regional Jet. Your mom will love you for this. (Warning: Not recommended for those without adequate cuteness skills. Otherwise, the other passengers might not be so forgiving...)
