David had a birthday party yesterday. Undoubtedly, a post will soon appear dedicated to its highlights. For now, though, a look back at the history of David's "thank you," which will ultimately lead us to the present--his birthday party.When David was 18 months old, just for fun, we started baby signing with him. (We'd actually had a serious one-month stint with baby sign language when he was 9 months old, but we all hated it, so we quickly abandoned the pursuit. Interestingly, signing was a stunning success when it was just for fun, felt age-appropriate for our particular kid, and seemed like a natural part of our lives; in contrast, signing was a miserable failure as a strict "must-do" program implemented according to the dictates of "experts." I think there's a lesson in parenting there...) The most important signs were, of course, "more," "finished," "drink," "eat," and "car," but David was also introduced to "thank you." Meanwhile, David was spending several hours a week with Yelis, our beloved Turkish housekeeper. In Turkey, the two most important things you teach your baby are, first, to wave bye-bye and, second, to blow kisses. Once David had perfected the wave, Yelis worked diligently at teaching him to blow kisses. The result was that by the time he turned two, "thank you" and blowing kisses had merged in his mind--he blows a kiss to say "thank you." It's very, very cute. As recently as two weeks ago, I prompted David to say "thank you" to his speech therapist, and he enthusiastically blew her a kiss.
Like most toddlers, David had a phase when he thought sneezing was hilarious and began saying "ah-choo!" to get laughs. Some months ago I noticed that David was saying "ah-choo" with great frequency, but it seemed to have little to do with sneezing. I would hand him a banana or tuck his blanket around him, and he would reply, "Ah-choo, Mom." I finally realized that he was copying what he hears us say when someone does something for us ("thank you"), but to him it sounded like "ah-choo." So for several months, without prompting and of his own accord, he was extremely polite with lots of "ah-choo"-ing. But if I ever prompted him to say "thank you," he continued to blow kisses. For him, "ah-choo" was what you say when someone does something nice for you, and blowing a kiss is what you do if your mom tells you to say "thank you." We had a long period when David's good manners consisted primarily of sneezing and air-born kisses. But, within the last week or two, I think he's finally straightened it out. Which brings us to his birthday party.
Before his friends arrived, we had the prerequisite discussion on how you need to say "thank you" after you open a gift. I think I have pretty reasonable expectations for three-year-olds, so I certainly didn't believe that (or even care if) David would be Mr. Manners at his party. But I figured that if I explained before the party the importance of saying "thank you" and managed to elicit at least one muttered "ah-choo" during the party, my duty was done. David, however, went above and beyond the call of duty.
David took the business of opening presents very seriously. And, although it took a little prompting from me, he said thank you after every gift. It wasn't even a sneeze. It was a very clear "a-doo," which means he was actually trying to say "thank you." As old habits die hard, with each thank you, he also raised his hand to his mouth (although he didn't actually blow kisses). But here's the best part, the part that melts my heart, warms my soul, and inspired me to give him a thousand kisses after his friends went home: Not only did he not rush his thanks in an effort to quickly get to the next present, each thank you was personal (and seemed genuinely sincere). I would tell him who the gift was from, and he would look at that kid (or kids) and say "a-doo," including their names if he could say them. For example, after he opened a set of cars from Clara (whom he used to call "Pear" and now calls "Flower"), I told him who they were from. He looked around the table for Clara, but, since she was sitting at the other end, he couldn't see her, so he didn't say thank you. "Where Flower go? Where Flower go?" I helped him spot Clara, and once he saw her, he said, looking right at her, "A-doo, Flower," and raised his hand to his mouth in a half kiss-blow. The same thing happened after he opened his friend Lauren's gift. With great concern, he searched the group for her, and reserved his "a-doo" until he could say it right to her. Okay, is that not really, really sweet for a wound-up three-year-old at his birthday party, or what?! It was the kind of thing that easily goes unnoticed. (In all the chaos I'm sure I'm the only one who observed what he was doing, let alone understood the significance.) But it was definitely, positively the highlight of the party. For me, anyway. Don't you love those moments when your kids absolutely amaze you?
Ah-choo, David, and here's a kiss!
