Lame

David will grow up with the stories of how when he was a baby he completely melted down in the Valley of the Kings, or walked across the U.N. Buffer Zone in Cyprus on his own two feet, or got lost with his mom in search of Pompeii, or looked for Jesus in Byzantine frescoes, or was kicked out of the tour group in that Bavarian Castle, or was included in a special tour of the Topkapi Harem thanks to good old-fashioned Turkish bribery, or almost fell off the ferry to Greece, or ate cheesy bread at Nuri's, or played with Elif in Cappadocia, or puked in Austria, or rushed his parents through the Uffizi, or any number of other adventures.

Then Mary will ask, "What did I do when I was a baby?"

And we will answer, lamely, "You went to Target."